View From Row 15

In a year where things were far from normal, the biggest adventure, besides becoming a pandemic dog owner (a story for another time), was my big journey from Phoenix  to Scottsdale.  Join me on my best 2020 trip… a magical place where clocks don’t exist because no one works anymore, the pool is a geriatric TRL Spring Break shoot and you never have to worry about crime in this little haven because everyone is always watching everrrrrrything… it’s a little place I like to call Casa Serena. 

That’s  right folks, I think I accidentally moved into a retirement community and it might actually be the perfect fit for me.

Let’s back up a little bit.  I had been on the hunt since procuring my dog, Rona, to give her the backyard she deserves, get rid of my defiant and, I am pretty sure, drug dealing neighbor and get a little place of my own.  My condo has been a great fit for 8 years but it was time for a change.  My amazing realtor, Mandi (who also doubles as my best friend and gets a 10 star rating at both roles) did what she does best – found me the perfect house.   The market was limited and everyday searching felt like there were less properties I liked and more compromising of location, price and functionality.  I came to terms with the fact that me as a buyer, and them as the seller had different definitions of  “move-in ready”, “new” and even “clean”.  House hunting is kind of like dating – some were awful and not even a chance you would live there, some were great but not for you.  I was convinced there had to be one out there that was going to be a match.  So we kept looking.

The benefit of having your best friend as a realtor is that she calls you on your shit.  Anyone else that might not know me would believe me when I reconciled the purchase of a less than ideal home with the ideas of “I can just take out this wall to open things up” or “shag carpet probably will come back so it isn’t that bad right now”.  Mandi, on the other hand, bluntly reminds me that this sounds good in theory, but it won’t happen and you will be disappointed. Dang it, she knows me.   So we kept looking.

And then one fateful afternoon, I get a call to check my email. And there is it, a beauty on Via de McCormick.  The fact that it wasn’t yet on the market yet didn’t deter Mandi, she said we were going that night.  Another reason in life, and real estate, she is the best, she isn’t a rule follower and she makes me follow suit.  This usually turns out good like 99% of the time, so I said ok.    Within the hour, we were back to my condo and proceeded to photograph, list and get my house on the market while simultaneously making an offer on my new oasis. 

Moving during COVID limited the welcome mixers and patio parties I was hoping for to meet my new neighbors and had to resort to limited waves across the driveway, as I came and went.  Brian, the HOA President, visited me, gave me a run down of the neighborhood, high level gossip, knowing there were additional festering details he wanted to share but wanted to make sure he knew what type of neighbor I was going to be.  I am happy to report, he soon found out I was in for him to spill the tea.  He asked me to write up a little paragraph for the newsletter to introduce myself to the neighborhood.  The following week, I received my electronic copy of “News in the Hood” – yes that is what it is called for real, and I knew I was home.  

I would say I bring down the average age of this neighborhood to about 65 years.  There are a handful of younger families, majority are retirees who eventually made their vacation home their permanent locale since desert living was better than the cold. The real outliers of our mean age though are Betty and Gloria, 91 and 97 respectively.  Both live independently in their own homes, still drive (although according to Pam across the street, shouldn’t be) and most importantly, love to get together for gossip and wine. You heard it here, the key to longevity is booze. 

But anyone that knows me knows, I love to learn about people. And the great thing about this place is these people have stories for days. They come from all over, they have lived all sorts of different lives, they have experiences I have never dreamed of and the best, we have a helluva neighborhood watch program.  I am pretty sure it is unofficial and mostly just being noisy but I am not going to complain.  They have taken me in as one of their own, I even got invited to Charlie’s garage parties.  In his words, they “tricked” out there garage to have BYOB parties – random Saturdays when the weather is nice, roll up the door and see who is around – sign.me.up.now.  When my first experience with Christmas lights didn’t pan out as well as I wanted, Larry across the street brought over Luminarias to spice up the joint.  Kathy stopped over and asked for my painters number. And just this weekend, Paul and his wife Pam, along with their 4 dinner party guests, refused to let me go in the house when things didn’t look so right when I pulled in to my garage – it sounds more exciting than it actually was but still, I felt loved that they didn’t leave me behind,  I am officially part of the gang and I love it.

I looked up what Casa Serena, the name of my small neighborhood, meant in Spanish – the neighborhood literally means house of the calm and cool.  Oh yeah, I can get onboard with that.

Oh Alanis Morissette, you were singing our song before we even knew. One year to date I started this blog and one year to date, I am taking my first flight in months, hindered by a no-fly mandate.

Four months, at least six cancelled trips and countless face masks later, here I am, Omaha bound.  This week in Phoenix, the temperature has hit 666 degrees, we are in hell and don’t worry, they are out of toilet paper here too. They don’t call Phoenix the Valley of the Sun for nothing, literally that is all there is: sun.  For some, the idea of a cloudless sky more days than not is a dream to most. For me, I would give anything for a small stint of rainy days, a respite from sweating ALL THE TIME.  Thank goodness for air conditioning, however there is a chance i will have to request a Go Fund Me page to pay my electric bill for July.  

I always equate summers in AZ to winters in the midwest, when you know a rough stint is coming, like the record temperatures of 116 this week, you get the necessities, hunker down and lay around the house, away from the elements.  This would all be fine, if we haven’t been getting the necessities, hunkering down and laying low for 4 MONTHS.  So I am escaping.  I am face masked, sanitized, socially distanced and breaking loose from feeling isolated – mentally, emotionally and physically.   
The irony of this post heavy on travel content is that just one year ago to this very day, I started this storytelling platform (it is not a blog).  I was kicking off what proved to be the biggest travel season I had to date, for work and for play, giving me the perfect opportunity for observations galore to share

And now fast forward to 2020 – who would have thought? That should be the slogan for the year – “who would have thought’ –  get that on a throw pillow.  The only thing I am observing these days is how lazy I have gotten that I can see my Nest thermostat from my couch and still use the app on my phone to turn the air down. I am also starting to Facetime with friends about people on shows and have conversations with as much enthusiasm about their breakups and makeups as actual humans I know.  That is not necessarily new, just more pathetic sounding.  You guys, I bought a dog, if a pandemic creates the illusion that I am responsible enough for that commitment, we need to shut this shit down.  I digress, but all this to say that 2020 was not where any of us thought we would be… understatement of the year.

Being at the airport today is weird – the lack of traffic in the terminals is hard to ignore, especially on a summer Friday afternoon that would normally be packed with families traveling for summer vacation, corporate travelers hurrying back for the weekend and airline staff stationed everywhere to answer questions and be available for the best flight experience.  Grab and Go stores have limited  selections and restaurants and bars here are desolate and dark.  The new vibe and lack of humans  at the busiest terminal in America’s Friendliest Airport could easily be confused with a flight leaving for Antarctica in January. 

One thing that has become clear to me during this pandemic is there are always the shitty people and always the good people. Even in times that feels like we are banning together, fighting the same fight, humans are inevitably just humans.  Take the mandated face masks for example – there will always be the people that will defiantly refuse face masks because it is their right or they are uncomfortable or frankly they just don’t want to wear them and think they don’t have to.  Literally no one wants to but it’s just what we do.  I have never had worse, more acne ridden skin than the last month of my life, including a really painful 6 months when I was 15.  Thankfully I have a mask to cover it up!  But seriously, face masks are required, sassy ‘tudes optional. Check that shit in your carry on, no one is really jazzed to be doing this and the annoyed tone doesn’t help.

Traveling isn’t what it used to be even a couple months ago.  The airports aren’t any easier, the lines aren’t any shorter, you need more distance between you, you need less touching and most importantly, just an ungodly amounts of hand sanitizers all over the place.  Will we get back to what it used to be? Who knows.  Do we want to get back to EXACTLY what it used to be? Maybe not – there were a lot of gaps in protecting our health and safety that have gone by the wayside that maybe aren’t such bad things to ship shape up on. 

All of this to say, I am grateful to be able to fly  today. I am grateful for my own free will to follow the rules, keep myself and my fellow travelers safe and sit down and shut up for 2 hours of my life to get out of here to do something fun.  As trapped and hindered as people feel right now, not being able to live their normal lives, I am grateful to have freedoms, even in this temporarily inhibited environment, that some people will never experience, even in the best of circumstances.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk…. but no seriously, thank you for the last year. I have had more fun than I thought just blabbing, not knowing if anyone even scrolls to the end.  

Also, shout out to the couple random followers I have gained from the business cards that I have left on tray tables during my flight with just the logo and website, no explanation.  Shameless plug – if you want some to leave here and there where we start traveling again, it is my organic pitch at marketing for no other reason than to see where this spans.  

Hopefully, I will be back to my regularly schedule programming sooner rather than later and never use the phrase “new normal” again.  Stay well, stay safe and stay sane. 

Quarantine Day 3947498579845 – or realistically like 30.  I know EVERYONE is in the same boat, whether you are a homebody or a total extrovert, social distancing and isolation is really cramping our style – not complaining, happy to do it, just saying….

Which first of all, I am starting a petition when this is over to stop using the following phrases:

• Ramp Up
• Social Distancing
• Reduced FTE (shout out employers!)
• Quarantine

And the worst of all….

• Unprecedented

Unprecedented is the new blanket statement for anything you don’t really know what to say – it’s like the “Yeah things are crazy” of stalled conversations.  Ok I will get off my vernacular high horse and move on to the good stuff, the positive stuff. 

This is going to get cheesy, so consider it a fair warning but it was something that hit me yesterday that I had never realized and it is a good metaphor for what I think myself, and others, are experiencing during these unprecedented times…. Ugh it’s just too easy not to use.

March and April in Arizona are kind of the best months anywhere. It is gorgeous weather but not TOO hot yet. The sun is shining; people are normally out and about – golfing, biking, hiking, enjoying! My spring times are usually packed with long days working for event season, lots of travel and cramming in as much free time as I can to take advantage of what Arizona has to offer.  But this last week, I have taken to noticing something that after 12 years of living here, I have never paid attention to, NOT ONCE.  

The beautiful blooms on the cactus everywhere you look. 

• 

I know they existed, I know they are beautiful but in the midst of my rush into work in the early mornings before the sun comes up or scurrying to get to my next commitment when I leave, I never have taken the time to enjoy them or really even give them a second thought.  Getting a chance to ride my bike several times a week through the desert behind my house (it sounds more rustic than it is, I promise) or walking through my neighborhood, driving slowly from place to place, I have been taking in the gorgeousness that is the Sonoran landscape.  And I am blown away!  Like blown away enough to write about them…. Nerd alert.  

But I think it is a perfect illustration for the way I am experiencing this time away from the norm.  I am noticing the blooms in my life more than I ever have – I told you cheesy to the max!  But it is true, the friends I have spent hours on Facetime with, the family chat sessions which crack me up, the random check-ins, the acts of kindness.  We take for granted those moments in the rush of day to day life but when we are governmentally mandated to take time to pause and minimize our hustle and bustle, it’s a fresh look at the great in the midst of everything else.  So take some time to look at your blooms blossoming and remember it is all temporary, the summer heat is coming…. Wait what?? That took a dark turn. YOUR Blooms will stay – the cactus blooms will not.  So basically this metaphor expires end of April/COVID virus 🙂  This is why illustrations in kids church never worked for me, too much of an analytical thinker! 

Stay safe, stay well and keep bloomin’. 

Oh my… what a week it has been.  Wait has it only been a week?? I don’t know, I have lost count.  I say that facetiously but honestly I have to look at my calendar like 8 times a day because it feels like Groundhogs Day. As I sit here typing this, I am racking my brain if it is Tuesday or Wednesday.

When the onset of COVID-19 started in Arizona, I anticipated some coveted down time in what is typically our busiest months during our events season.  I had elaborate plans in my head of all the things I would catch up on at work – the things I had been putting off, but out of shear boredom,  would now have to conquer.  That lasted about 24 hours…. As things escalated and our hospital incident command was activated my event planner role soon became the “whatever needs to get done, send it over” skill set.  Which I love – do tasks now, emotions later.  I find comfort in what I know and what I know is check lists, flow charts, spreadsheets.  With each beginning and ending task, I found an ebb and flow of emotions.  

At first it felt a little summer campy/spring breakish – eating crappy, yoga pants all day was acceptable and so was having a valid excuse to bail on plans or watch endless amounts of TV.  Then as things took a turn and the reality of it all set in, there was a shift in emotions – this wasn’t a two week break from the norm, slowly going back to what we know – we were in this for the long haul.  The tasks became more strategic, the deadlines more pressing and the directives less defined with every changing hour.  It was a weird sense of controlled chaos.  No one was in charge.  You know how when you were little (or 34….) and you ask a real adult, like your parents or a leader, about something and they just have an authority of reassurance, whether they really know the answer or not?  Yah, no one had that.  Everyone is like ‘uh I thought YOU were going to tell me it’s all going to be ok??’.  Unsettling….

It’s easy to get lost in the darkness – the hopelessly hopeful mindset that makes finding the light at the end of the tunnel a daily chore because frankly, we can’t see it yet.  It’s easy to look at all that is going wrong, can still go wrong and feel like it’s all bad. And we 100% get permission to be scared and unsettled, there is no discounting that.  If you remember in my last post, before I had any clue where this all would take us, I wrote about 9 things we should embrace about being grounded.  Now a couple weeks in, if I take a minute to look at the good and take a break from the scary, this is what I have decided….

Here are my 9 favorite things that COVID-19 has given me so far:

1. A renewed “like” of the outdoors- I won’t jump to love, as I am the first to say I am not an outdoorsy person – love me a patio cocktail but normally don’t opt to just be outside.  But I have embraced the time I get to cruise on my bike, listen to a podcast while walking my neighborhood or just enjoying a book on my patio before bed.  Maybe there is something about this outside business after all…
2. Everything FaceTime and Zoom have to offer – Can’t get enough of my video chats, these are around to stay and I am here for it.  The idea of not having to get dressed or leave your house, knowing we are all in the same boat and being able to endlessly chat without a deadline is a simple joy that makes people feel not so far away.
3. General acceptance that no one is required to look good – this is a double edged sword because I am getting far too comfortable looking gross and actually seeing people, but also I like that we can all embrace, even for a limited time, the freedom to be us – except instagram influencers, they are still faking it.  
4. Solid, sing along, dance in your kitchen music- now this sounds silly but I am never a person that just sits and listen to music, it is always in conjunction with an activity – driving or working out, but I found a renewed love of just having music on and letting it bring the good vibes. 
5. Booze – let’s say what everyone is thinking.  The lawlessness of the “sheltering in place” world means that chips and queso at 9 in the morning is appropriate, as well as happy hour starting at 9:01.  Rediscovering a night cap (“night” being a relative term and “a” being a loose unit of measurement) has restored my love of a sipping drink. 
6. Carol Baskin – thank you Carol for taking one for the team and letting everyone blow up the internet with our mutual distaste for you and your meat grinding, tiger feeding tendencies.  We are grateful for a tangible common enemy besides the corona virus.
7. Memes – this one should be number one because the majority of them are far too relatable, which brings a needed unity amongst strangers and the other half are so damn heartwarming – the grandpa/granddaughter dance parties across the road to abide by social distancing, the cheers from the windows in the cities encouraging the healthcare workers leaving from their shift and my personal favorite, anything involving dogs being adorable. 
8. Not being alone – this is a weird one because I am alone.  But knowing we are all fighting the same fight right now, makes it feel less scary.  The checkins, the calls, the inane chatter and belly laughing – I have some pretty great humans in my corner and only become more grateful for them everyday of this.
9. Human kindness – I give most humans the benefit of the doubt, sometimes to a fault.  But when push comes to shove, my heart is never surprised but always completely overwhelmed with the kindness of humans, strangers even.  One of my tasks for the hospital has been managing donations from local groups reaching out to help.  When I started a week ago, they were trickling in – a local eatery here and there, someone looking to see if we needed bottled water or extra masks.  In the last 7 days, I have been bombarded with churches, daycares, schools, individual families, local restaurants and community members just wanting to help.  Recognizing what these medical professionals are sacrificing every single day they walk in those doors and wanting to be a part of supporting them, encouraging them and letting them know, we are in this together.  Many don’t have a lot to give, they are struggling to keep their doors open but watching the abundance of kindness has blessed me for a lifetime.  It is contagious.  It makes me want to give an extra smile to the worker at the grocery store, stop for takeout (in a safe way!) to help out a local business and just in general consider others more than myself.  So when we are looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, look for those people who are shining in the darkness as our guide.  

Stay safe friends!  

Oh hey, my computer died and I forgot to charge it and here we are in March… does that sound like a valid excuse to not have posted??  In truth, my friend Mary reminded me of this when I started this – the beauty of starting something with no expectations is I can do whatever I want. So here I am, giving you a 3 month break from me and then I am going to hit you hard with nonsense!  Honestly, it was 1 part laziness and 134,324 parts “where did the time go, how have I not posted anything since December?!”.  

2020 started off fast and furious and I didn’t have a chance to recap my travels before I was off on the next…. until now.  

My last flight was from Orlando the second weekend in March.  I was seated in the unofficial “family” seating, which is not a real thing, but apparently on this 7am flight, the families rallied together to come up with a plan to have me COMPLETELY surrounded with children in every row around me for a 5 hour flight. I am being dramatic, they were very well-behaved – especially the ones whose parents went rouge on their screen time rules and let them run amuck on their iPads and snacks-for-dayz.  But God bless parents who travel with kids, it is a thankless job of schlepping and constant demands just to see your kids lose their minds when they meet Mickey in person or touch the ocean for the first time. I applaud you parent travelers!! Anyhoooooo…..

It comes to no surprise to anyone that travel has halted across the country.  What used to be bustling airports that took forever and a half to get through security are now completely abandoned; those long AM airport Starbucks lines that make you choose between coffee and potentially missing your flight – a thing of the past. Our world is seeing unprecedented times and with the unknown comes fear.  

This story telling platform (it is not a blog) was never meant to be something where I shared anything more than wacky people I encounter but might digress a little bit today. 

As an event planner, this pandemic has impacted my work tremendously and brought on a whole new set of tasks – as it has with everyone.  We are all being impacted in so many ways.  So as I sit at my desk, rather than a tray table in the skies, I feel compelled to take the time to remember that in the midst of the fear and the things feeling ominous and frankly, a little scary and out of control, there is still a lot of things that are going ok.  Being “grounded” for a couple weeks gives us the  chance to do the superficial things like catch up on all the Housewives of New York before the April 2 premiere (clearly, I don’t have that on my list….).  But it also gives us a chance to do things for ourselves, our community and the betterment of humanity, all from the comfort of our home.  Which leads me to today – I am taking time to tell you 9 things I am grateful for during this period of uncertainty, social distancing and an unprecedented times.

DISCLAIMER: I do not take this situation lightly for one second but I want to take advantage of the fact that there is good instead of investing all my energy into the what-ifs.  My plan isn’t to rid myself of reality, but just of the constant barrage of extreme declarations from all sides and find a neutral place to hang out in while we are stuck in this situation.  If you want to see the numbers, the stock market, the new closings and the commentary – it is everywhere.  This is a reprieve from the masses, or if nothing else a 15-minute break from scrolling your Instagram.

Top 9 Cool Things About Being Grounded:

Being given the opportunity to reconnect:  I am grateful to take advantage of the slowing down of our lives, and suddenly having more free time means a great chance to catch up or just check in.  Facetime, phone calls, random chatting throughout the day, whatever!   It doesn’t have to be marathon phone calls but being removed from our day to day gives all of us a chance to check on each other!  Facetime happy hours with your friend across the country, yes please!  Somehow social distancing might give us the chance to nurture some of those friendships we don’t always have time for in a different way!

**Getting to enjoy the cleanest and most organized my house will ever be – At some point Netflix will lose its luster and our other to do’s will not look as inviting which will lead to the inevitable spring cleaning on steroids! I put asterisks on this one because this is obviously the hope but I also know the reality (see #7).  But yesterday when I was straightening up my laundry room I found 18 ROLLS of toilet paper I forgot I bought at Costco a long time ago. I thought it was paper towels and low and behold…so let that be a lesson to you.  #blessed

Sharpen those skills – In my work, given that I work in the healthcare industry, we are all hands on deck.  I have been asked to stretch my skills, comfort level and work outside the box with almost every task I have been handed this week because a lot of the logistics is unknown for everyone. So as we run into roadblocks and are faced with challenges, it feels a little like Amazing Race (minus the travel and fabulous cash prizes).  We are constantly being thrown into a situation and have to make our way through with whatever resources we have, quickly and methodically. It has made me realize I am better at some stuff than I thought I was!  So whether it be at work, or being super creative in your cooking with what you have in your pantry or figuring out how to accomplish a task with limited social interaction and outside help, it’s a great feeling of accomplishment to know you can do it, even with the added elements of the unknown.

Chance to weed out the nonsense – This one has been huge for me.  I never realized how much “stuff” I do.  I mean I do know, but I didn’t know what a freeing feeling it is!  At first, I felt guilty when I would come home after work and just…. be home?  I wasn’t running unnecessary errands, I wasn’t squeezing in a class, going to drinks or swinging by a friends. It wasn’t like I had “plans” every night of the week but I “had stuff to do”.  Granted I miss those interactions and freedom of being able to go and do but there is something to be said for the stuff in our life we are just filling it with.  Getting back to the basics has made me realize that maybe when COVID-19 has been tamed, hanging on to some of this freedom from my own expectations to always be going is a welcome residual from this experience.

Chance to flex your creativity – Stay at home parents are blowing my mind this week! Seeing their creativity for how to entertain children – Leprechaun hunts, baking, theme lunches and outdoor adventures.  I am blown away by being given a little bit of time (and desperation 🙂 ) the juices begin flowing and so much is discovered outside of popping in a movie – which no judgement, that’s a great option too.  Even getting creative about get-togethers with (small) groups of friends! No bar happy hours – no problem! Picnic in the park. No workout class together? After dinner walk! Stepping outside of your norm could be your new norm.

You get to be guilt-free lazy – This one is my personal favorite.  If you aren’t feeling well, rest.  If you are home and don’t have anything you need to do, lounge.  If you are home and you DO have something to do but don’t feel like it, kick your feet back friend.  With things slowing down, it is an awesome, socially acceptable time to have the perfect excuse to not do ANYTHING  I know I am guilty of it, feeling like some downtime is wasted if I am not watching tv and doing something else but this last weekend, I took full advantage of laziness by starting Season 1 – Episode 1 of Seinfeld. No, this is not a remake series, just straight up 90’s Seinfeld, and it was awesome. Give yourself permission to do whatever you want, especially if whatever is absolutely nothing.

Embracing technology for the good – How much are people LOVING the fact that with gyms closing, instead of saying “Eh good luck” they are doing virtual classes, offering discounted or free opportunities to use libraries of streamed workouts and all around creating a community?? I did a barre class in my living room with 15 other people streaming in at the same time.  I watched church from my couch this week in a bathrobe, the possibilities are endless.  Although I am thoroughly enjoying the memes and hilarity on my Instagram feed, I am also appreciating the innovation that is coming with this new set of parameters we are being met with.

Do your part to stimulate the economy – I personally have made it my mission to buy nothing I need and everything I want in the name of keeping our economy thriving…. yeah let’s go with that.  But seriously, I have been shopping online because of the killer deals but also because so many stores, especially local entrepreneurs are adapting their business to do “by appointment” shopping to allow fewer people in the stores at a time, they are offering great deals to purchase online and pickup curbside.  Same with great local places to eat, buy a gift card that you can use later but puts money in their pocket now. So many businesses and employees are unsure of what the weeks ahead bring, every little thing helps.

Focus on the greater good – The greatest thing I have seen as this pandemic unfolds is that humanity really is good. We see people offering to share their groceries, checking in on their elderly neighbors, helping each other out with child care with the schools closed, donating to local workers out of work due to shut downs.  We are all in this together and even though I wish this was under control, there is something awesome about knowing that when push comes to shove, we are there for each other.  My 93 year old grandma died last year – she was a humble women who did so many things for some many people and not until after she died did we realize the magnitude of her reach in the community. People showed up at her memorial service in tears telling us how much she had changed their life and we hadn’t even heard of them.  I am talking MORE THAN ONE PERSON said this, who has that kind of impact without any of her family or friends knowing??  In one of the last conversations I had with her, that now I realize how special it was, we talked about how she had the privilege of being on this earth for almost 94 years and said the most important thing of all is “if we don’t help others, what is the point?” And it is true. In the time where things seem uncertain and scary, rather than hunker down and hope it passes, get out there and see what you can do for others.  You might be surprised what a blessing it is to them but even more to you.

So let’s take advantage of being “grounded”:

• Grounded – No flights coming and going
• Grounded – Being removed from activities, not allowed to do what we are used to
• Grounded – Chance to take a step back re-center and getting back to the basics

Gosh I love a good play on words!!! Stay safe, wash yo’ hands.

The ultimate traveler fail – I lost my status.  I came within 2 one-way flights to get A-List status for next year’s travel season and I screwed the pooch.  Granted, it isn’t that fantastic of a perk – just a little reward of quicker boarding and more flexible flight changes to compensate for all those early mornings trucking to the airport, delayed flights and bad sleeps.  But seriously,  two flights!?  Had I been thinking earlier on in the year, I could have easily knocked this out, no questions asked. I flew a ton of other flights on different airlines, out of convenience or cost and for making one little change, I could have hit the mark. It’s not even that I cared that much about what the status got me, it was I cared more that I was so close and didn’t get it.  It was that I looked back and thought, why didn’t I think to do that differently?

I couldn’t help but compare this to the way we have a tendency to look at our lives, especially as we approach the end of the year.  The nostalgia of closing yet another chapter, this time a whole decade, and reflecting on what we have done, where we went, who we became and things we might change.  For me, New Years and birthdays are kind of a State of the Union of my life, a time to look and say, what did this all mean and what do I want to do better.  What do I want to accomplish?  I can honestly say after 34 New Years, the amount of resolutions and ideas I set ahead for myself for the coming year are usually very grandiose.  And without fail, January 1 has always been somewhat of a “reset day” after a night out, so I always feel like I am behind the ball to begin anyway and by the end of January, the best laid plans have turned into nothing more that wishes in a planner.

So as I contemplated this year, being 2020 – what is it I want this first month, this year, this decade, to reflect about me and who I want to be? It is easy for us to say we strive to make more money, workout everyday, be a super mom, employee of the year, the best spouse around, a great friend and still fit into jeans from freshman year of college. But we (I – I just say “we” to make me feel better 🙂 ) get lost in the “to dos” and forget about the day to days that make us accomplish these things.  I know how it plays out when you look at the end game, get frustrated when you fail and then January 10, 2020 is the beginning of the end, why continue if you can’t do it perfect?  

Starting this storying telling platform (it’s not a blog) this year was scary for me.  It is vulnerable and that is why I did it, because I am not very good at that. It scares me to let people know I have an opinion on things – even if these are not ground breaking issues larger than preferred snack options while traveling or whether or not I think it is appropriate for people to be barefoot on planes (NOTE: Hard stance on this  – absolutely not, never).  But just putting something out there and not being able to control who reads it or what they think about me is something that I have never been good at.  I enjoy creating the narrative.  It’s not always easy to come up with something to write, I don’t always feel like it is grade A material or necessarily something that will resonate with anyone but me, but the idea behind this was to put something out into the universe and have it be nothing more than an outlet.  Whether 3 people read it or 100 people read it, I am writing with the same intention.

Looking at 2020, I am challenging myself to do more of that – be intentional about the things I am doing.  So looking ahead but not letting that control my actions but guide me. If I end up with “A Status”  great but know that if other “flights” take me away from that, it is ok.  As long as it is intentional and for me, perfection doesn’t matter, it is about the journey. This crazy journey :). Thank you for hanging in there with me for 6 months and letting me share the inner workings of this brain of mine.  Cheers to a fantastic 2019 and only good things to come in 2020 – hopefully more nutty passengers, crazy conversations and cute seat mates.

One of my favorite things about plane small talk is you learn things you would never have any reason to know other than you are passing time with a person telling you about something. And in order to keep the conversation not awkward, you ask questions and inquire. Or you could just put in  your headphones like most people but by now, you know I am a sucker for a good random tidbit.  

I was at a conference one time where a speaker said some of the most influential and successful people in the world had one thing in common – they were constantly consuming. No, not booze and carbs – consuming information about anything and everything. On average, they spend 2 hours per day just reading from sources that have nothing to do with their industry or interests, just taking in new information.  So it has been my mission over the last year to just consume.  For instance, usually when reading the news, I skip over the headlines I don’t have a vested interest or know too much about, which is silly because isn’t that the point of the news, to learn what you don’t know. 

Insert Kate – the human newspaper I didn’t know I needed.  

Kate was probably about my parents age,  heading to Scottsdale to visit her sister.  We started talking about her kids, who  all who happen to be around my age.  She was filling me in on the happenings of their lives- her middle daughter who was getting a Master’s Degree in Fine Arts with no clue what he actual job would be afterwards to begin to chisel away at her student debt.  She also had a son, named Mark, that had a strikingly similarity to my brother, even down to his name.

But the most interesting of all her children was her oldest daughter who is working for a company called Yondr – it is everything we need in America. It is a company that, according to their website, is bringing back phone-free events to the arts, eduction, government and social events.  Clients across all industries – everything from concert (Madonna is one of their newest clients!), schools and government facilities are taking advantage of this new device to allow us to reconnect mentally and physically in the space we are and disconnect from technology  in our already hyperconnected world.  It is a genius, very simple pouch that locks when you enter the venue and can be unlocked as you leave. During the event, if you need your phone for whatever reason, you can go to designated locations throughout the venue to use them but it is putting the experience back in the things we are attending and live in the present.

If I was to become First Lady, my platform would be related to kids, technology and the lost art of interpersonal skills.  Have no fear, there are far too many drunk pictures of my college days on Facebook for me to pass any sort of rigorous background search to be the ideal First Lady, although our moral standards for leaders in America have significantly dropped so maybe I have a chance… Anyhooooo…. 

That is my passion. I don’t have kids but I fear for children of this generation – growing up not knowing how to entertain themselves without technology, talk on the phone instead of text or even tell time on an analog clock. And I think we miss out on so much in the here and now as we try to capture things so we don’t want to forget. The irony of capturing a moment is, you are spending time “doing” and not “being”, which ultimately dilutes the experiences.  

I remember being at the Grand Canyon several years ago and it being one of the most beautiful sunrises ever. If you have never been, yes, it is a hole in the ground but it is a majestic, amazing, sight to see.  It is indescribable and something that no matter how many pictures you take, the beauty of it can’t be captured on film.  It is the peacefulness of such a giant space, it is the breeze, it is the massiveness of this thing that was not man-made.  And in all honesty, if I wasn’t just standing still, taking it all in, I don’t know that I would have enjoyed it as much.  It was part of the memory, not doing, just being. Just enjoying it  and not worrying about the perfect Instagram caption or how many likes you will get, just taking it all in.  More of that, please and thank you. Thanks Yondr for getting us closer that way.

First of all, howdy and hello! It’s been a while, not because I am lacking trips but because I am lacking enthusiasm to talk to people.  Just kidding but actually…not. Early morning flights, late night events and 3 hour time changes lead me, as of late, to choose a quick snooze over a chat.  But have no fear, this most recent trip to Jacksonville lent me some options to share just what I love about flying – you never know what you are going to run into….

Strangers are weird.  Yes that is a generalization and I am sure people think I am weird. Correction, I KNOW people think I am weird, but they aren’t the ones writing this blog so you get my unsolicited opinion about them instead.  

I know the point of being a stranger is that you don’t have to worry a ton about what anyone thinks because they will never see you again but at the same time, I think there are some basic courtesies we should respect to not be too weird in our ability to share with others.  For example, the women today in a completely full bathroom who wouldn’t hang up the phone while she peed because she was running through her Christmas list and debating the benefits of a new phone versus an Apple watch with whoever was so lucky to be keeping her company on the phone in the stall.

I also find it odd not just what people will say in front of other people, but more so TO other people they have never met with no context into their life, upbringing or beliefs. 

As I was standing in line to board a flight in Houston, I had the pleasure to be standing in the one place no one can remember how to count in order from 1-60, the alphabet order of A,B,C or listen to any directions overhead – the Southwest boarding line.  I was standing at the front of the line close to the where the pre-boards were gathered and the ticket counter.  Making casual small talk, a women next to me provided the longest “short version” of her life story and told me she was flying to Florida to see her sister.

I don’t know if she had enjoyed a pre-flight cocktail or literally just did not give a shit who could hear her but she wanted to make sure that everyone within ear shot of her nasal megaphone-volume voice knew that there were just too many people getting pre-boarded.  Not being one to ruffle feathers or really care why anyone is getting on the plane early, I said “yah there are a lot on this flight” hoping that would appease her enough so we could continue on with inane chit chat about the weather until it was socially acceptable to put on my noise cancelling headphones.  I quickly decided she was playing a game of “How Uncomfortable Can I Make These Strangers In Line” and not only was she winning, she would soon become VIP. 

Compassionate Connie, apparently not one to pick up on social cues, just could not leave this pre-board non-issue/issue at bay, so she throws out this gem:  “I think all physically disabled people should HAVE TO PROVE their disability before they can board”. CONNNIIIIIEEEE, what?!  A. I am concerned this is a genuine thought that you have but B.  You said it! Out loud! In an airport! Full of people you do not know and will not have your back when that roller gang of pre-board wheelchairs come and TAKE YOU OUT.  

Literally as I type this I cringe.  I am pretty bad at hiding emotions, especially when I am completely dumbfounded and at a loss for words and mostly, completely disgusted with whatever was just said.   I can usually fake a smile or a polite giggle – but I am fairly certain that I threw courtesy to the wind and pulled out my phone in an effort to completely shut down any potential continued conversation. But with Connie, getting down to the boarding buzzer, wanting to get in that last minute Hail Mary in the midst of our stagnate conversation, she throws out loudly “I also don’t consider getting old a disability”.   Ooookkkkkkay Connie, you win, you win it all.  And although I found the comments off color and ridiculous, it wasn’t so much that, it was her lack of any consideration to not only the pre-boarders but to people around us.  Who made you queen of the boarding line??  Thankfully, something made her launch into a story about her husbands pill addiction and her recent back surgery so although still not my desired conversation topics, it was much better than blatant discrimination so I take it as a victory.

Despite my interaction with Compassionate Connie, my faith in strangers was revived.  On my flight from Jacksonville to Dallas, I stood behind a women in line who had a Nespresso canvas tote bag. I remember because I just recently found out what a total nightmare a Nespresso machine is and was still reeling in its complication.  Did you know there are seventeen different kinds of machines, 2 different kinds of pods and about 1 million different flavors and just a hell of a lot of decisions for a cup of coffee?! 

Annnnnyway…. I was standing in front of her to board my first leg of my trip home and she pulled out two bags of Trader Joe’s chocolate covered something or other and as we got on the plane handed them to the flight attendant and said just a little treat for you.  I instantly thought, oh how nice, she is a flight attendant traveling on her day off bringing treats for friends but as I sat in my seat, I kept wondering what the story was behind that.  Well lo and behold Nancy Nespresso was standing in front of me from my flight from Dallas to Phoenix! As we were walking down the jetway, I mentioned to her how I realized I boarded right behind her on the last leg of this trip and I specifically remembered because she handed out candy to the flight attendants.  And just as though it was perfectly choreographed,  she whipped out two more bags as we prepared to step on the plane.  She smiled and said “it is just something I like to do, it is a thankless job, people barely smile at them so I always buy one for the crew and one for the cockpit when I fly.”  Obviously I had questions, I love to know why people are they way they are.  I inquired if this was something she does with other service industries that she encounters day to day, trying to analyze the psychology behind it but there was nothing to figure out, she was just a nice women that wanted to make someones day brighter. So although there are nitwits out there who have no common sense, remember there are also good eggs in the world that just want to make someone’s day a little brighter – be like them.  

One of the main reasons I considered starting this “storytelling platform” (it’s not a blog) was to share my experiences of the weird people, interesting people and some people I hope to never have to sit next to again in my life – the most memorable being the man who sniffed crushed up pills off his tray table during take off through a dollar bill. I am no pharmacist but I am about 100% sure there is not an FDA-approved instruction on any bottle that indicates this is the appropriate method of taking any pharmaceuticals, but I was young so only now am I looking back thinking  “huh, that was kind of weird”. 

And then there are the people you never expect to meet, they just provide an easy conversation to pass the time and lead to something so much greater! 

Insert Mari – a women I met on a plane back in 2007.  Yep, I see you doing the math, that is 12 years ago. Twelve years ago and I still remember an interaction with a stranger?  I do because it was what I needed at that moment that no one else could give me. It was the reassurance I wanted from someone who had no stake in the game, who had no reason to care and knew me for the quick 2 hour and 15 minute flight from Omaha to Phoenix but offered genuine, thoughtful, advice. 

I was a young 20-something coming home for a quick summer weekend – if I was a betting women I would bet it was for one of the dozens of weddings I commuted back for throughout my 20s.  These were the weekends I lived for.  I was living in Arizona at the time for about 8 weeks – yes that is not a long time but in “summer weeks” that is an eternity to be homesick for my friends and a carefree summer.  Instead of staying in Nebraska, I chose to move across the country to get experience as an intern with a world-renowned organization that I knew would be worth it long term; that is what I tend to lean towards – the responsible and practical things in life.  It’s a blessing and a curse but in my heart I was missing being careless and responsibility-free (Read As: hungover, broke and unproductive #summer2007).  Before I left for my weekend get away, my boss that was overseeing my internship asked me what I would think about coming back full-time when I graduated the next spring.  Most normal (sane) people would be ecstatic – a job offer when I don’t even have a degree, at a place I knew I loved, with people I knew I loved, doing work I knew mattered AND they were going to pay me?? Stop the non-sense. 

To be honest, I am not sure what my response was at the moment but I know that the second I got on that plane I got hit with a dose of reality that my carefree days were winding to an end and I would have to start making adult decisions and I was not amused.  I am 33 years old and I am still kind of not amused about adult decisions.  Of course, everyone I told was so encouraging and excited for me, when a part of me wanted them to question it, the same way I was in my head.  Is this what I want to do? Won’t I miss out on things? Am I even good at this? I had never lived alone in my life, let alone 2,000 miles away from the only place I had called home.  Of course after a fantastic weekend of friends, family, nostalgia and Valentino’s Grand Buffet (don’t get bamboozled into just the sit down, order off of a menu –  it HAS to be the Grand Buffet to get the full effect of it’s magesticness), I was dropped off at the airport to return back to Phoenix.  I was still at the phase in my departures from Omaha were tears were a given, even when I knew I would be back shortly. Moping in the airport, I am sure being super extra and listening to a depressing playlist on my sweet iPod, I boarded the plane hoping for some reason we couldn’t take off and I would get 12 more hours home before going back to a sampling of what could potentially be a glimpse into my post-college life.  

That’s when Mari and Phil come in.  I am not sure how we started talking, besides the fact that she was extremely outgoing. She was a mom with kids my age living in the Bay Area. Steve worked for the Fire Department there and were leaving a visit with their son who was playing baseball in Iowa for the summer.  We talked College World Series (the gem of summer in Omaha, a must see), all about their kids and what I was up to that summer. 

And that, my friends, is when I word-vomited my whole story about what I was doing, what I was offered and what I was scared of. All the things I wanted to  blurt out when I was getting congratulations, all the things that I felt ungrateful for feeling but were real concerns of mine.  Mari listened and didn’t have anything extremely profound to say, she did what moms do best, reassured to the best of her abilities hoping this complete stranger wouldn’t start crying.  We exchanged email addresses, as they came to Phoenix and told me to look them up when I was in San Francisco and they would give me tons of recommendations of things to do. We emailed back and forth after the flight and I informed Mari I took the job in Phoenix.   She wrote something that had been said before in many forms and by people who know me way better than she but for whatever reason, it stuck.  She told me what I needed to hear:

“Remember, nothing is permanent and you have to try things sometimes.  I have no doubt you will do very well.”  

The fact that a stranger could give me confidence I couldn’t give myself based on a short interaction seems silly but at that time, I needed the validation that it was scary but it was okay to be scared. 

So you are wondering what happened to Mari right??  So a couple weeks ago I sent her an email.  I debated reaching out after so long but I have learned from experience, when someone does something impactful tell them it meant something, you never know what it means to them. Clearly, if I still remember her name, there was some sort of lasting impression.  

I said I hope this isn’t out of the blue…uh besides the fact that it is indeed completely out of the blue.  She responded, and added me on Facebook and Instagram before I woke up the next morning, which is the ultimate compliment in 2019.  She did admit that when she first opened my email, she thought it was a scam, like the long lost Nigerian Prince looking for you to forward him money but as she got into the email she then remembered our conversation and was grateful after all these years her advice had resonated. She said “you knew what to do”. And I did, I knew what I needed to do, I knew what the responsible thing was and I knew that this was an opportunity that although unexpected, I had worked hard to be considered. But finding a friendly face, a smile and an ear to listen, made all the difference in me coming to that conclusion on my own.  

Lessons From Mari:

1. It’s okay to be scared, even in a decision that seems like a no brainer.  I know that sounds sophomoric in thinking but in reality, sometimes that screws with your head even more.  
2. Avoid getting teary-eyed with strangers, it weirds people out.  Oddly enough, this is not my only story of crying on a plane with someone I just met… but for that you will have to wait.